From your Captain: 

Well January is behind us thank goodness not a great golfing month, one of the wettest on record. The good news is the Senior Swindle, administered by Malcolm and supported by his trusty tee bookers is back and up and running after a short break. I would like to give my thanks and appreciation on behalf of the senior section to Malcolm and his team for doing a great job running the Seniors Swindle. Plenty to look forward to this month; Feb 7, Seniors 4BB, Feb 14, 3 clubs and a putter and Feb 19, monthly stableford. Thanks to John Williams and all of you who have signed up to dry February, funds raised going to my chosen Charity Parkinsons UK, stay dry you know it makes sense. For the record, my support team known as the Senior Captain’s helpers are as follows, Malcolm Norton, Pete Hele, Allen Smith, Peter Jay, Kevin Price and Graham Cork. This band of merry men try to meet on a regular basis to ensure the well-oiled machine, that is the Senior Section continues to purr! Remember, if you have any questions about Senior Golf at SbN please let myself or one the team know.  

Quote for this month:

“One reason golf is such an exasperating game is that everything we learned is so easily forgotten, and we find ourselves struggling year after year with faults we had discovered and corrected time and again.” -Bobby Jones

John Parkinson
SbN Seniors Captain 

Disclaimer: This is a light-hearted review of the previous month’s events. No offence is intended, I hope none is taken!

Full (formal) information can always be found on the senior’s website www.stokeseniors.com

Welcome to the month in the year of decisions. Not holidays, dry February, what club to take or competitions to enter, but…what to do with the extra 24 hours we get in February 2024? More importantly, approaching the day when it is acceptable for ladies to propose to men, will Gordon get lucky? I’m sure all will be revealed by the end of the month.

Many thanks to everyone who has paid their seniors subs for the year. I hope the new system proved quite simple to use. Although there have been changes in the way finances are managed, rest assured, the senior’s section will still be run in the same fun and inclusive way.

Once again, the weather got the better of senior’s competitions in January. The monthly stableford on 3rdJanuary was cancelled, as was the first swindle of the month on the 5th. Most unusually for Stoke, a decision was made to close the course, and quite rightly so. Unprecedented amounts of rain had left it completely saturated and a period of rest was needed. Fortunately, the rain has been kept largely at bay and conditions are steadily improving (SSSHH!)

There have been four swindles this month, indeed on one of them, nasty Malcolm was able to cut 8 people, that’ll teach you all! Malcolm is fast becoming the Craig Revel Horwood of Stoke by Nayland. We’ve already had our first 40 plus score of the year with Roger Fleuty piping his way to a credible 41 points. Although, be warned, he’s back! I played a round with Mick Henry on the 24th. He described himself as a fair weather golfer, so hasn’t played for quite some time, so what was he doing out in January you may ask? Needless to say, he was a bit rusty for the front 9 and only managed 12 points, that’s what a 27 handicapper should be playing like we thought. However, Mick knew better. He changed his cap for a sombrero, consulted his journal of banditry rules for seniors and set about the back 9 Gainsborough. A nice drive on the 10th, followed by a 2nd shot beyond the hole to finish 20 feet from the pin but with a nasty downhill putt. A slightly tentative first putt resulted in a 3 stab bogey for only 3 points. Thishowever, was followed by a tee shot onto the green on 11 and a safe 3 for 4 points. A holed chip for par from the back of the green on 12 contributed another 3 points promptly followed by a 4 for 4 on 13. The first 4 holes on the back 9 yielding 14 points towards the back 9 total of 23, second place on the day with 35 points. Be afraid, very afraid!

Elsewhere, there were a few names with multiple showings at the winner’s table. You are being watched Messrs Hele and Dallas! Don’t forget to check the results sheet for Malcolm’s cuts and ensure you include them in your next round. Cuts are for 1 round only.

There have been some strange sights and comments on the course in January, and I’m talking about jointwatch 2024. On more than one occasion, Toby has been seen not only walking the course, but actually carrying his bag as well. Paul Sheffield was seriously considering walking the course, however, after a visit to the gym (yes the gym) decided it might not be such a good idea! Unfortunately, for Pete Robins, although his new hip is settling in nicely, the arthritis in his hands is causing him concerns, but he does hope to be with us soon.

Once again, John Williams is coordinating ‘Dry February’ with the plot like something from ‘Traitors.’ Members quickly learnt JW’s strong arm tactics, that any comment on the swindle WhatsApp group would be tantamount to signing up. More than 20 people have thus far pledged their dosh, which will generate in excess of £600 for Capt Parky’s charity, not all have vowed to be completely ‘dry’ though. The questions on everyone’s lips will be, are you an abstainer or just a donator? Whichever, many thanks for the contributions, I’m sure late pledges will be accepted.

At last, we have some competitions to look forward to with the 4BBB, three clubs and a putter and a monthly stableford all on the agenda for February. Also, before the month draws to a close, we will be picking the team for the first interclub match, away to Stowmarket on 12th March. Let’s hope it’s an improvement on 2023, that was postponed at 08.00 in the morning!

Plans for the VC tour are progressing nicely, although all the reserves have now been used. If anyone fancies joining the waiting list, for what should be an excellent three rounds of golf at East Sussex National, 14th-16th May, then let me know and I’ll put you down as a reserve. If recent years are anything to go by, there’s a good chance a spot will come up.

I leave you with an interesting thought to ponder:

Is Brian Roloff really on holiday and just how is he spending his time?

Have a great month, rain or shine, wet or dry!

Finally, Many Happy Returns to all members who have their birthdays in February.

Details of February’s schedule and all fixtures in 2024 can be found on the website.

Club V1 is the place to go to enter your availability for all 2024 Interclub matches, you can also sign up for the team, if you’re not yet a member.

If anyone wishes to share any “amusing” stories with me for the next newsletter, this can be done anonymously, or otherwise, by emailing kevinprice@btinternet.com