Inter Club Match v Gosfield – Gainsborough - 28th June 2023
SbN 5 Gosfield 2
If you can drive it straight when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust your swing when all team mates doubt you, But make allowance for their shanking too; If you can putt and not be tired by putting Or being rubbished, don't deal in rubbish, Or being beaten, don't give way to beating, And yet don't play too well, nor score too well: If you can really try - but not make trying your master; If you can slice - and not make slicing your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the report you've written Twisted by knaves to make a joke for golfers, Or watch the things you gave your game to, broken, And stoop and build them up with worn-out grips and balls: If you can make one game of all your efforts And risk your handicap on one attempt against Gosfeld, And lose, and start again at the next match And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your Captain long after Gosfield have gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the hope which says to him "Gizz another chance!" If you can talk with Seniors and keep your virtue, Or walk with Clarkus - nor lose the common touch, If neither Gosfield nor team members can hurt you, If all players count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving match With 4 hours worth of friendly chat, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Senior, my son!
Group 1 Captain and Sir Bobby - Won 6/5
When asked for a comment on the match the Captain spoke strangely of " jelly " or something, which your reporter didn't understand. Sir Bob (he's 82 you know) played good and Malcolm was there too.
Group 2 Roger and Rob - Won 1 up
Best scores on the 18 holes were 8 birdies and 10 pars.
Proper good golf, there's lovely for you!! The Gosfield pair considered it the height of bad manners for us to birdie the 3rd when they were both in the pond.
Rob insisted in me mentioning his birdie for a half on the 11th (yawn!)
He got right sulky about that one, but he did win the 18th.
Group 3 Eric and Dick - Won 2 up.
Dick (the 49 pointer) politely shook hand's on the 16th before losing the hole to a birdie to remain 2 up (bit of premature congratulations there, Dick!!). The rest was boring but Eric was there too.
Group 4 Bickerman and Phil - lost badly but Ian couldn't remember the score. (Lost 5 & 4). Ian had a poorly foot and limped off before the end. Ian said Phil played crap - Phil agreed.
Group 5 Iain and Shikhar - lost 1 down
Shergar said he was a plonk ( no news there then). He also wondered how someone (his partner) with such a short name could have 2 i's in it. Iain agreed with the plonk comment.
Group 6 Andy H and Richard - Won 4/3
According to Andy, Richard was sensational and Richard agreed. He was 9 under his handicap and yes, he is putting the card in - hee, hee, hee! The rest of Andy's report was dreadfully boring, so .......
Group 7 David and Crackers - Won 2 up
Apparently nothing interesting happened but then Crackers dropped into the conversation a quite gnomic comment along the lines of "There were no trouser stain incidents this year". What was that all about???! Crackers would give no further details, so we'll never know. They whined on about giving 17 and 18 shots but “Dave dun good” so that's all that mattered.
A win 5/2 for our lovely boys and a very nice Turkey carvery nosh followed by a bit of passion from Becky - no, stop being silly, it was a passion fruit tart thing for pud!! Yum, yum!!!
Many thanks to Roger D for his report of todays match - a far more understandable report than we are used to from RD !!
Team .........
Malcolm Norton (Captain) & Bob Filer
Roger Davies (Reporter) & Rob Swan
Eric Fisher & Dick Lumsden
Iain Gault & Shikhar Chatrath
Phil Hickley & Ian Bickers
Andy Higginson & Richard Middleton
Andy Cracknell & Dave Drew