In the mustard seed sun,

By full-tilt Benton Hall stream and switchback ponds,

Where the oyster catchers scud

In their nests on stilts high among trees and palavers of seniors.

This sun-gleamed day in the Benton Hall game

They celebrate and spurn their wind-turned age;

Golf balls spire and spear.

Over and round they go.

Pitches, chips, balls on their cold, dying flights;

Never once as they are told,

Golfers aloud in their lovely white tops

Work at their way to a sad loss.

And the reporter in the lonely writing room

Who tolls his mournful rhymes

Toils towards the ambush of the team;

Seniors, Benton Halled, they visit.

In the yellow-grassed summer they play towards greens.

Callaways fly in the claw tracks of shanks.

On a seizing sky - short putts are missed

Through wynds and hooks of drowned Titleists to homes of fishes.

They - in their long, racking years

And the hard coils of arthritis and ancient muscles,

Seniors fight toward their lunch.

(With very many apologies to Dylan Thomas)

Fawel oddi wth y Barde o Grande Cornarde.

Loss to our merry band  - Benton Hall 5.5: SbN 2.5

Match 1

Benton Hall Barry got more shots than the Has-been Bickers.

Pete won the banter competition but Ian lost the match 6/4.

Match 2

The Welsh Wizards Williams and Davies did over the Benton Hall Seniors Champ and 25 shot Chris (now known as Eagle Boy after his exploits on the 12th)

"You bar stewards" said Chris after a well-deserved 3/1 loss.

"Why are you using that stupid chipper club, Davies?" said Mark the Champ.

"Why do you keep shanking, JW?" said Davies

"Shut the f*** up, Davies!" said JW.

Match 3 

David Wilson and Trevor Waterhouse dun good and won 3/2

Opponent Dave whined on and on about 70 ft putts for birdies and holed bunker shots for par.

Nobody likes a bad loser, Dave - but being a bad winner like Trevor is even worse.

Mach 4

Colin and Phil got stuffed 3/2

"Phil badly let down his partner" said Phil's partner.

"If I'd known about Colin's 100% losing record, I'd have dropped him." said Phil.

Play nicely boys - it's only a game.

Match 5

VC Malc was absent when their 1 down game was discussed.

However, having played with VC lately, your reporter can understand Brian's comments;

"VC was terrible, shite, useless. I carried him for 17 holes and then he lost the 18th.

Match 6

Marshall Pete and Marshall Robin needn't have bothered playing as they only halved their match.

Pete bragged on about never losing a match to Benton Hall (unlike Colin who has never won a match against anybody)

Best news of the day - Robin won nearest-the-pin after a spawny along-the-ground stubbed effort!!

Match 7

Steve and Tony were very boring about their golf and they lost 4/3

"Outplayed" was one word used.

Match 8 

Dave Drew had a very red face (No, Mrs. Drew, he obviously hadn't put on his sun block).

John went on about Phil Hickley's trolley going walkabout, but as Phil wasn't playing that wasn't too significant.

Maybe if Phil had been playing, they wouldn't have lost 3/2.

Monster lunch and pud.

Mark, the Benton Hall Champ had 2 enormous helpings of crumble (2 pud Champ)

JW bored everyone totally rigid by showing a film on his phone of his 1997 Open Championship TV debut.

A jolly time was had by all and we look forward to a more pleasing result against Stowmarket.

Many thanks to Roger Davies on his reporting of todays fun and games at Benton Hall