The day was full of expectation for a ‘grand day’ out by the sea. Some had even donned shorts for the occasion; regrettably this was the first of many bad decisions on the day. The weather was distinctly overcast and chilly with that biting north wind we have come to love.

Our Captain together with Jonathan Perry set the tone for the day going 3 down in very short order and although they brought the match back to all square, they eventually succumbed losing 2 down.

Andy Cracknell and your honorary reporter made the mistake of winning the first hole and after a closely fought contest and putting up an ‘admirable defence’, according to Crackers - lost 2 & 1

I have to regrettably report these matches were our best two results of the day, so it will give you some idea of what is to follow; a litany of misery!

Pete Hele and Sir Bob lost 3 & 2, with the pair having taken just a gross 69 shots (1 birdie & 9 pars) after playing 16 holes before throwing in the towel. Pete declared ‘he couldn’t figure out what was happening’, having to give 19 shots to someone playing off 30 who kept paring holes, I have got a pretty good idea. It has been reported our pair of likely lads were not bitter (honest guv!) and John from Frinton was very apologetic throughout the post match meal.

The outstanding performance of the day belongs to Alan Finn Larsen and Del McWilliams, who failed to win a hole during their encounter and not surprisingly lost 8 & 7, well at least they halved 2 holes

Kevin Price and John Williams, who gave 16 shots, lost 5 & 3 but John was very proud of the fact that he birdied the long par 3 16th but that was after the match was over.

Graham Cork & Nick Wright also picked up a silver medal losing 3 & 2, Graham attributed this to his cunning tactic of hitting his ball into the thick rough which really did not payoff.

Ian McKay and Brian Roloff, in Brian’s words got ‘royally stuffed’ 4 & 3

David Seymour & Eric Fisher also lost 4 & 3 and were last seen seeking professional help.

Needless to say we did not win the nearest the pin and only managed to pickup 2 raffle prizes out of the 9 on offer.  n.b. Malcolm picked out his own ticket

So, 16 somewhat bemused ‘golfers’ returned to Stoke with their tails between their legs muttering something about ‘that we will get them back at our place’. Oh poor deluded fools

We must extend a warm thank you to Frinton for their generous hospitality and excellent food, the highlight of the day is most definitely shown below: