There was something strange in the air in the Champions Lounge before this match.

It may have been the imminent threat of thunder and lightning. It may have been Harry’s lack of wi-fi signal again. Or it could have been trepidation about the number of shots we had to give away.

Never in the history of Stoke Seniors Inter Club matches have all six matches had to have one Stoke player on scratch and giving shots to all of our opponents (unless you know different and can prove it!).

Putting it into perspective, in all eight matches, the scratch Stoke players gave a total of 166 shots to Newton Green and just 82 to their Stoke partners. So Newton Green started with an 84 shot advantage.

Sadly for them however, they failed to take that advantage and succumbed to Captain Kev notching another home win.

The unsettling air continued out on the course, with two Newton Green players retiring hurt and leaving their partners to battle on – and one Newton player failing to make it back for his excellent pork carvery lunch (did I spot Lionel trying to claim seconds as a result?)

We did have rain, we did have thunder, but most groups escaped an absolute soaking. Other weird happenings:- a Newton Green trolley ploughing into a bunker. And half of the Stoke team trying for nearest the pin on 9 only to discover the marker had been put out on 11 where Andy Higginson took advantage of the confusion and snaffled the bottle of wine.

And so to the individual matches.

Match 1 Kevin Price and John Crane  Won 4 and 3

“Luckily the rain held off for the most part. Kevin has broad shoulders, carrying John for the front 9. It was a very tight game for the first 10 holes with just one in it at any point in time. Unfortunately, Newton’s Tony had to retire on 11 with low blood sugar levels and beat a retreat to the clubhouse. Kevin and John dovetailed better on the back 9 and went on to win 4 and 3. Very good company and played in a good spirit”.

Match 2 Bill Kemter and Dick Lumsden  Lost 4 and 3

“One to forget for Bill’s last match before scuttling back to Cyprus. Peter from Newton said he was getting “more shots than Custer” (his words not ours). But not content with his 20 shots, he proceeded to rack up five net birdies. It was a joy to watch NOT!  Onwards and upwards!”

Match 3 Colin Pottle and Roger Davies  Won 2 and 1

“Apart from our team wrongly picking up our marker on the 15th when two feet from the hole which would have seen a 4 and 3 win, the match was wonderfully enjoyable. It hissed down on the 4th and 5th but we rushed into the clubhouse to miss the rain on the 18th. Looking forward to Carmoon’s Plums” (Your reporter has no idea if this last comment was edible or sexual)

Match 4 Andy Cracknell and Lionel Hatch  Won 3 and 2

“An excellent match. Very tight the whole way round. Crackers and Hatchie both played some very good golf and were never behind in the match. It was a shame there had to be a winner, but I’m pleased there was and it was us.”

Match 5 Tony Carman and David Drew  Won 1 up

“Playing against former Stoke member Brian Castle with his course knowledge and 14 shots, we thought we were in trouble when he won the first. We were two down after three by Dave Drew staged a three hole comeback of par, birdie, par and we were all square after 9. I down with two to play we won 17 to go all square and a super chip from Dave to 90cm on the last won the hole and the match.” (No mention of Carmoon’s plums here….)

Match 6 Iain Gault and Terry Mitchell Won 8 and 6 (Yes that’s right! )

“This match became a whole lot easier when Newton lost one member of their team with an injury, (Not so serious that it didn’t stop him leaving the course, driving home to get changed, then coming back for his pork carvery!) The result therefore became inevitable, with us running up a crushing victory”.

Match 7 Malcolm Norton and Andy Higginson Won 3 and 1

“Malcolm and Andy prevailed in a very friendly match which was always close. Malcolm played very well, Andy joined the game occasionally, only when he felt like it. This suited Malcolm well as he hugely enjoyed pointing out his greater contribution”.

Match 8 Ian McKay and Mick Henry  All square

“We went down by one on the second and despite the score going up and down we eventually managed to win the last hole. Notable points:- One of the opposition pushed his trolley into a bunker on the 5th, but that didn’t stop him putting his second shot on 6 to the middle of the green (nett 1), thinning a tee shot on 7 to 8 feet and putting in from 4 feet off the green on 15 to go dormy 2”.